Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
