I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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