She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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