It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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