Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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