I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
