So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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