Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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