She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
