how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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