He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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