i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
