Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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