let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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