okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
