Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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