Michael Bay diarrhea
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
