dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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