Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
