Screwed.edu
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
