I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
