my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You are a genius and a whore.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
