I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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