thus making me awesome and them whores
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
