problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
