Moan for me like Helen Keller
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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