Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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