Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
