Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
