You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I CAN MOONWALK!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize