You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
