i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
