You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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