I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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