Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize