You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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