so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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