Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
