After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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