Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
