Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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