why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
