fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
