You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
