im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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