I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
