So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
