I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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