Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
