Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
