I could have mohawked her pubes.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
