Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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