Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
