woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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