She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
