Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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