It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so let's talk penis.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My dick has a subreddit
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
