Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
