some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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