My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
