He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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