Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
