Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
