I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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