I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
