I wish I could punch you in the face.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
