what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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