So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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